I got AI to roast my instagram feed…

I was struggling to figure out what to post a blog about today, and I decided to try asking chat gpt for some ideas. It was fairly useful, but everything felt a bit too artsy artsy. So, I wanted to try something different.

I uploaded some pictures of my instagram feed and typed; “Roast my instagram feed”, and here’s what it said.

“Roasting an Instagram feed is all about having fun with it, so let’s dive in!” we’re starting light, I love that for me

“The Eternal Golden Hour: Ah yes, you’ve found that magical time of day when everything is bathed in golden light. But seriously, do you sleep outside waiting for the sun to hit just right? Or is your camera permanently set to “Golden Hour Only”?” Ok hun, I think this is actually a bit of a compliment?! I loveeee golden hour, especially for a couple photoshoot, or for some stunning wedding shots at the end of your reception coverage!! Not gonna changeeeeee.

“Couple Goals Overload: We get it, you photograph couples in love—do they all come with a mandatory romance novel cover pose, or is that just your superpower? Somewhere, a single person is crying into their pillow while scrolling through your feed.” I can’t help it! My couples are just all so in love!!!!! They actually really do scream couple goals. But like, actually realistic couple goals… not the Pinterest kind of couple goals. Nobody sits with cosy socks in bed in summer drinking tea, reading books with each other at the same time. Nobody.

“Black & White Drama: Ooh, artsy! When in doubt, just switch to black and white, right? It’s like you’re saying, “This moment was so intense, it didn’t even need color.” We feel you, but sometimes it’s like the photos lost their will to live.” It’s true, I love a black and white image. Sometimes I literally wish I could take 90% of my photos and make them black and white… but it’s okay, I deal with the 50/50 split. Also, you really can feel the picture more if it has no colour!

“Perfectly Posed Candidness: Your “candid” shots are so perfectly timed, I’m starting to think you have psychic abilities. Or are these couples just naturally good at acting like they don’t know a camera is right in their faces?” Honestly, my couples have usually already had an engagement photoshoot with me, and so when it gets around to capturing their wedding day, they’re able to totally shut off and forget that i’m there with a camera.

“Warm Tones = Warm Hearts: Is your editing software stuck on the “toasty” setting? Your color palette is so warm, I feel like I need to take off a layer every time I scroll through. But seriously, have you ever met a cool tone you liked?” Warm tones are my life. Sorry not sorry. I think it comes from years and years of |looking| insanely pale. I love a bit of warmth lol.

“Nature’s Biggest Fan: Scenic backdrops for days! But tell me, how much do you pay nature to cooperate so perfectly? Because I’ve never seen a tree or a mountain photobomb any of your shots. They must really like you.” Ahhh, mountains and trees being my friends is actually such a flex. Give me a bit of grass any day!! I adoreee all things nature.

“Group Dynamics: Your group shots are like, “Everyone, look perfectly happy or else!” I can’t decide if these people are actually thrilled, or if you just threatened them with no cake if they didn’t smile.” It’s true. If you don’t look thrilled to be there.. you get no cake. (I get the cake)

“The Art of Not-So-Subtle Symmetry: Did someone say symmetry? Oh wait, that was you. Your compositions are so balanced, it’s like you’re afraid your camera will tip over if someone’s head isn’t perfectly centered.” Honestly… tysm? How sweet. I’m so OCD, everything has to be perfect!

“Emotion On Tap: The way you capture emotion is so on point that it makes me wonder if you’re secretly just filming a really long rom-com. Every photo is like, “Here’s a tear-jerking moment in case you weren’t already feeling things.”” The feels are so down to my clients, definitely not me. My couples just love me so much that they get emotional <3

“Epic Proposal or Just Tuesday?: You make every couple look like they’re in the middle of a proposal, even if they’re just ordering coffee. It’s like you’ve somehow convinced them that this photo will be the most important moment of their lives.” Ultimately, these photos are going to be some of the only professional images you ever have of yourselves… like.. ever! So duh! They’ve gotta look incredible!!

“Remember, this is all in good humor—your work is clearly polished and professional, but sometimes it’s fun to poke a little at the consistent elements. Keep doing what you’re doing, but maybe surprise us with a cool tone every once in a while!” Haha, so what you’re saying is, you love everything… but my warmth is too warm! LOL. A.I hates warmth guys, tell your friends.

This was actually such a fun little experiment to do, and it’s made me feel so great about my work honestly. Other creatives will get this, but I go through so many phases of hating my work, my editing, my posing, etc etc… and it’s just nonsense, and it always passes, but it get’s you so down sometimes. Especially when enquiries are slow one week or something. So to get only positive things from a robot who feels nothing really does mean so much. Sense the tone. But, seriously, it has actually helped a little.

How would you roast my work?!